One Month

Ezra is 4 weeks today! He survived all the snow and snow events – like getting home from the hospital in another snowstorm and our power going out for 12 hours due to yet another snow/ice storm. Hopefully, the cold is behind us and spring will be here soon!

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He has gone from 7 lbs 4 oz at birth to 10 lbs 6 oz. Apparently I don’t make milk, I make heavy cream. He eats every 3-4 hours, sometimes with a 4-5 hour stretch at night. He prefers to sleep flat and stretch his legs out, he doesn’t like the reclined newborn sleeper or having his legs swaddled up. He still gets swaddled at night to keep his arms from flaying about, but I don’t really swaddle him during the day and he does fine.

We’ve discovered that he’s very ticklish...

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Quiet Time

We decided that it would be a good idea to implement quiet time. Sabrina doesn’t nap and hasn’t napped in a year and a half. Well, she has napped twice in the past year – due to fever.

For my own sanity and wellbeing with a newborn (and because there are only so many times I can watch Bolt) I would like Sabrina to spend an hour in her room quietly playing. She has Legos, books, a giant Teddy bear, puppets, and more stuffed animals than is reasonable.

Honestly, I should have implemented this shortly after naps ended, but that would involve me being more organized.

Yesterday was the first day. She just sat on her bed, staring at the wall. For a whole 20 minutes.

Today, she “totally freaked out.” In the words of her favorite show Peg + Cat.

She acted like we abandoned her in the house, t...

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Ezra’s Birth Story

His birth story actually starts 3.5 years before, with his sister’s. Sabrina was a surprise breech baby (head down on Thursday, water broke Friday morning and they told me she was breech at the hospital). And therefore a c/section. So making the decision for Ezra’s labor and delivery wasn’t easy. I know all the stats and risks for doing a trial of labor, c/section, and a long labor ending in a c/section. Eventually, I decided I would pick a day for a repeat c/section and then I talked to Heavenly Father and said (more or less), “OK, here’s the day. If doing a TOL (trial of labor) or VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) is in Your plan for me, it needs to happen before this day. If a c/section is the better option, that’s great, then here is the day...

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Finding Strength in Grief : What I’ve learned after two miscarriages

October is the month I would have been due, before my second miscarriage. July was my due-month before my first miscarriage. Thankfully, I’m pregnant now – well past the point I miscarried my previous pregnancies and due in February. I’m at the halfway mark of pregnancy! Only 20 more weeks to go, more or less.

Some of the harder moments for me are when someone asks me if this is my second pregnancy. And (other than for my personal medical providers) I just say yes. I want to say, “No, this is my fourth pregnancy, I lost two.” But I don’t because the situation usually isn’t appropriate for that.

I don’t feel the grief-pain acutely anymore, time has erased most of the sharpness. But sometimes I ache. Sometimes the memory of the grief makes me tear (pregnancy hormones don’t help)...

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Pros and Cons of Pregnancy

Cons:

1. Nausea (-10 points)
2. Headaches (-10 points)
3. Needing to drink crazy insane amounts of water (-5 points)
4. Because of #3 and a growing baby – needing to use a bathroom every 4 minutes (-15 points)
5. Almost passing out, at BugFest, in the shower, standing up, etc. It hasn’t actually happened, everything just goes dim and my hearing dims, and then I sit down. This whole increasing blood volume, borderline dehydration thing is cramping my style. (-20 points)

Pros:

1. Emotional stability – seriously, strangely I’m more emotionally stable during pregnancy than with the monthly ups and downs that I usually deal with (+30 points)
2. Snacking anytime I want, even at 11:30 pm (+5 points)
3. Babies are easier to take care of inside instead of outside (+20 points)
4...

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Lulu Stories – The Flying Tree

- told by Lulu, while in the car

I want you to make me potion for my friends!

(What is the potion for?)

The potion will make the trees fly! Jesus is going to give us the potion!

(The trees will fly?)

Yes! The trees are going to fly and fly and fly, higher and higher!

(Where are the trees going to go?)

The tree is going to fly to our house.

(Is the tree going to eat dinner with us?)

No! We’re going to get home and go inside and the tree is going to be playing inside and we’re going to be like, “WHAT?”

 

 

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The Cupcake Reveal Reality

Since I am both envious of Pinterest crafts and inherently lazy, I decided to make cupcakes and fill just 4. The idea was for Lulu to be surprised and excited to find blue inside her cupcakes and realize she was going to have a little brother and then we’d have a lot of adorable pictures to commemorate this event.

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Viddy and I explained to a very anxious-for-cupcake 3-year-old that if there was pink or blue inside the cupcake then it corresponded to the sex of her little sibling. We got out of respective video devices so we could be ready for the BIG moment.

We gave her the cupcake after dinner. And she ate it very slowly. Nibbling here and there. We had to encourage her to take bigger bites.

FINALLY, she made it to the center. And we asked her, “What color is it?”

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Lulu: “Um…. Nothing…”

V...

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Sweet Joy

Some days I have glimmers of unbelievable joy and peace. Today was one of those days.

I listened to Lulu sing, standing at the microphone in the primary room. She sang “I Am Like a Star Shining Brightly.” She sang clear and loud and I don’t think a choir of angels could have sung it any better to these mommy-ears.

I feel so much joy from parenting (some days). And those glimmers of happiness keep me going when I feel like I’m about to pull my hair out, or frustrated, or PMS-y, or feeling mom-guilt...

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Conversations with a 2.75 year old

Driving into church yesterday:

Lulu: I got married.

Me and Viddy: Um…. to who?

Lulu: I got married at the temple with Mommy and Daddy.

Right after getting home from work:

Viddy: I’m going to go up stairs to change, you can stay down here.

Lulu: NO! I watch a show!!

Viddy: Yes, just sit down and watch your show.

Lulu: NO! I stand!

Viddy: Ok. you can stand.

Lulu: NO! I sit over here, Dad! I sit over here.

Viddy (backing up the stairs slowly): Ok. Ok.

While reading her “born” book (her shutterfly book I made right after she was born):

Lulu (pointing to Mimi (grandma)): Look! It’s my sister!

Me: Your sister??

Lulu: Just kidding, it’s Mimi.

Tonight at bedtime:

Lulu (pointing to the picture of Jesus): Jesus loves me?

Me: Yes, Jesus loves you, and Mommy and Daddy love you.

Lulu: I’m in Jesu...

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I opened the box…

I placed an Amazon order about two weeks ago. We’re getting a new mattress delivered and I ordered new sheets, a box spring anti-dustmite cover.

Oh. And some stuff for pregnancy. I was getting more nauseous. So I ordered some instant potatoes that are actually just potatoes. And some water flavoring things so that I could have some options other then lemon water.

I haven’t opened the box since it came, first it was because of laziness, and then stress, and then because I didn’t want to see it.

The mattress is being delivered tomorrow. I opened the box and I teared up as I carried the instant mashed potatoes to the food storage closet instead of to the pantry. Put all the sheets and such in the wash.

My pregnancy ended 6 days ago. I’m not nauseated anymore. I can stomach plain water again.

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