4 years old

Well, this is overdue.

I can’t believe she’s four!!


She’s a bouncing ball of bright, energetic, dramatic, curious energy.

She has fully entered the world of imagination. She has many imaginary friends that follow her around and play games with her. She loves art and building things and digging in sand. She enjoys reading books and learning to write letters.

She loves her little brother and is both nervous for him to get bigger and get her stuff and excited for him to be able to play with her.

I think she has started to realized how much bigger the world is and how little control she has over things. She’s started to cling to the familiar more and she gets a little stressed over things outside her control. We’re working on emotional outbursts…

Some of my favorite Sabrina-isms from this pas...

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5 months!

Time flies…

I’ve been putting off writing another post. Whenever I post about something difficult or close to my heart, I don’t like writing again – it feels like the more meaningful things just get pushed down under the hum drum things of life. I know that’s not exactly true in actuality, but it’s taken me a little while to get back to the normal.

Ezra was sleeping great between 2-3 months old. He was sleeping from 7-7 (ish). And then… he learned how to roll from back to front.

He’d throw his legs up in the air and pivot his hips to get the momentum to turn to his side and then twist to get to his belly. And once he figured out how to get to his front, he had to figure out how to get back to his back. And then he figured out how to roll.

And then he started inch-worming forward.

And now h...

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The more difficult parts of life

When I was younger, I spent entire summers in California. For some of that time I’d sleep at my dad’s parent’s home. They have 10 acres of land and during our yearly family reunion everyone would gather and pitch tents and eat together and talk and swim. I have never loved sleeping outside and I would often just sleep on a couch in my grandparents’ living room (I’m stubborn like that).

In the mornings, I’d wake up to the smell of coffee and my grandparents moving around, which was my signal to go and sit on the edge of the bed and talk with my grandparents. Me and my siblings and my cousins all had similar experiences. One of my cousins would always sit in a chair pulled up by my grandparents bed. Another would always sit on the floor against the wall...

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The Adventures of Oodle and Doodle

I remembered that I had some herbs that I’m supposed to be watering outside. So a week ago I went out to water my plants. And it became the day of bugs.

When I went to our water spiget and turned it on, the water was taking a while to flow. And then out pops this HUGE, HAIRY, legged creature. I may have wigged out a little. So I again went to turn the water on, and ANOTHER HUGE, HAIRY legged creature popped out. They were carpenter bees, which made me feel slightly better, instead of giant icky spiders.

I was a little on edge when I walked over to my plants. Sabrina was playing with our neighbor and I went to go look at my herbs and I see two fat caterpillars on my parsley plant. I jumped again when I saw two crawly bugs, but was fine after seeing they were caterpillars.

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So much eating… So...

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5 years

5 years ago Dave and I got married. We went to the temple, kneeled across from one another and were sealed together for time and all eternity.

And then…

2 moves in two states, we bought a house, had a baby, graduated from a graduate program, I became a NP, Dave started grad school, we had another baby.

I’m looking forward to 5 more years. And 5 more years after that, on and on forever.

 

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3 Months!

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Three months have flown by. Ezra is such a good baby. He’s been sleeping through the night consistently for the last 3 weeks. He sleeps from 7-6:30 in his crib. Occasionally he fights going to sleep and needs some extra snuggles or a pacifier replacement, but for the most part he goes to sleep easily. He naps fairly regularly during the day. I’m looking forward to a more firm nap schedule in the next month or so.

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He loves his big sister. He watches her and smiles at her. It’s perfect since Sabrina is more then happy to dance and sing and entertain an audience at any time.

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Ezra still likes his pacifier and to snuggle. He’s trying very hard to be mobile. He’s got the wiggle and pivot down. He’s very anxious to be moving. I’m not as anxious for him to be moving.

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He is very particular abou...

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One Month

Ezra is 4 weeks today! He survived all the snow and snow events – like getting home from the hospital in another snowstorm and our power going out for 12 hours due to yet another snow/ice storm. Hopefully, the cold is behind us and spring will be here soon!

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He has gone from 7 lbs 4 oz at birth to 10 lbs 6 oz. Apparently I don’t make milk, I make heavy cream. He eats every 3-4 hours, sometimes with a 4-5 hour stretch at night. He prefers to sleep flat and stretch his legs out, he doesn’t like the reclined newborn sleeper or having his legs swaddled up. He still gets swaddled at night to keep his arms from flaying about, but I don’t really swaddle him during the day and he does fine.

We’ve discovered that he’s very ticklish...

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Quiet Time

We decided that it would be a good idea to implement quiet time. Sabrina doesn’t nap and hasn’t napped in a year and a half. Well, she has napped twice in the past year – due to fever.

For my own sanity and wellbeing with a newborn (and because there are only so many times I can watch Bolt) I would like Sabrina to spend an hour in her room quietly playing. She has Legos, books, a giant Teddy bear, puppets, and more stuffed animals than is reasonable.

Honestly, I should have implemented this shortly after naps ended, but that would involve me being more organized.

Yesterday was the first day. She just sat on her bed, staring at the wall. For a whole 20 minutes.

Today, she “totally freaked out.” In the words of her favorite show Peg + Cat.

She acted like we abandoned her in the house, t...

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Ezra’s Birth Story

His birth story actually starts 3.5 years before, with his sister’s. Sabrina was a surprise breech baby (head down on Thursday, water broke Friday morning and they told me she was breech at the hospital). And therefore a c/section. So making the decision for Ezra’s labor and delivery wasn’t easy. I know all the stats and risks for doing a trial of labor, c/section, and a long labor ending in a c/section. Eventually, I decided I would pick a day for a repeat c/section and then I talked to Heavenly Father and said (more or less), “OK, here’s the day. If doing a TOL (trial of labor) or VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) is in Your plan for me, it needs to happen before this day. If a c/section is the better option, that’s great, then here is the day...

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Finding Strength in Grief : What I’ve learned after two miscarriages

October is the month I would have been due, before my second miscarriage. July was my due-month before my first miscarriage. Thankfully, I’m pregnant now – well past the point I miscarried my previous pregnancies and due in February. I’m at the halfway mark of pregnancy! Only 20 more weeks to go, more or less.

Some of the harder moments for me are when someone asks me if this is my second pregnancy. And (other than for my personal medical providers) I just say yes. I want to say, “No, this is my fourth pregnancy, I lost two.” But I don’t because the situation usually isn’t appropriate for that.

I don’t feel the grief-pain acutely anymore, time has erased most of the sharpness. But sometimes I ache. Sometimes the memory of the grief makes me tear (pregnancy hormones don’t help)...

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