Unofficial Poll

How do you feel about asking a random pregnant woman if her pregnancy was planned?

A: Depends on the situation

B: I have a right to know these things about peoples lives

C: None of my business

I’m sure you’ve noticed that you can’t actually click on one of the above options. Because my desire to actually know what your opinion is has been balanced with me figuring out how to put a poll on this blog. And my laziness won. I know, I’m a terrible terrible heartless person.

Dave and I both have been asked on many many occasions whether this pregnancy was planned or not. We’ve been asked by family and close friends (which I don’t care about sharing things with) and by strangers¬†and random classmates (problem).

Here’s my unasked for opinion on the matter.

Unless we are close enough that we can talk about birth control, family planning, or gynecological problems – don’t ask. Unless you think it’s your business to know whether or not or what kind of birth control we use or don’t use – don’t ask.

Those of you who know me, know that I have no problem sharing details of my life. I’m a fairly open book. I’ll tell you about the pain that is endometriosis. I’ll even tell you what kind of birth control pills I’ve been on. I’ll tell people about how Celiac’s Disease affects my bowel habits. I’ll tell you funny make-out stories from mine and Dave’s engagement days. I don’t care. BUT when people who know me about as well as they know the bus driver ask me if this was planned…. I want to smack ’em with a large nursing text book. That is an extremely personal question! And I get the vibe from most of those individuals that they want to know whether to be sorry for me (because this was a whoops baby) or confirm they think I’m crazy (because I’ll still have a year of part-time school after the baby is born).

So to all those acquaintances of mine out there who don’t read this blog: Frankly, whether or not this pregnancy was planned is none of your (insert strong word of choice) business.

5 comments to Unofficial Poll

  • Lex  says:

    Yep. People suck. We are excited for you despite the fact that people suck. Have people started to touch your stomach yet or telling you the gender based on their family folklore? It took all my restraint to not slug them.

  • Keara  says:

    Wow…… there are some things that just make people forget there are BOUNDARIES! From personal experience, a visible tattoo makes people think they can just …. touch you. Or move your clothing aside to see more of you. WTF?! where is that ever okay? I can only imagine it’s the same with a baby bump, if not worse! .

    But for me, my reaction was not “uh oh, pity, oops baby” but more like: “wow! yay for them! and …. she’s hardcore”

    Best of luck! I’ll be internet stalking you even more now <3

  • marcia marshall  says:

    After you give birth these same strangers will ask you about the birth — “Did you go natural?” “did you tear?” And after a few babies: “Are you done?” Someone even offered to lend me their book on varying sexual positions in case I was having troubles in that department. Yeah, major TMI, thank-you-very-much.

  • Vanessa  says:

    Don’t you love that?!? It seems as though people just cannot imagine WANTING a baby that soon after marriage. Yes it is possible and by the way, quite wonderful! We had the same thing (over and over and over) and we just kept telling them that yes we wanted to get pregnant so soon into our marriage. Some people are just ready and want nothing more- so I say CONGRATS and I am so happy for you two! It is the very best thing in the world.

  • Joanne  says:

    I couldn’t believe some of the questions people asked me when I was pregnant! It’s as if when you’re pregnant you don’t mind people being nosy, and rude, and touchy, and personal. I’m sure you’ll also get to hear at least 75 different birthing stories as well. Good luck with that.